By Caroline Patrick

What Are We Seeking in Relationships?

What are we seeking in relationships? This larger-than-life question is still the most baffling of all human experiences. I once attended a workshop during my search for happiness. I thought if I could find the missing link to this puzzle, my marriage would become the perfect example of perfection. The fear of the unknown would become crystal clear. I would have the sacred information for all of my women friends who weren’t able to attend the class. Prepared with notebook, pen and pencil, I arrived early and settled in a comfortable spot. This special time was a gift to myself. After twenty-five years of marriage I was still trying to get it right. This twelve-week study about ourselves promised to give us insight into our best qualities, those that needed work, and how we interacted with others. I felt fairly comfortable with myself. Raising two children into adulthood without ‘losing it’ was a great accomplishment, I thought. With their father gone for a week or two at a time with his job, I thought I deserved a ‘star in my crown,’ as my mother would say. There were PTA and school functions which I attended alone. We made up for the lost time on weekends, with a lot of extended family cookouts, dune buggy mountain trips and hiking. Yes, I was pleased with my efforts, but now I had time to look at deeper issues within my, not always together, family. I had jotted down references to these problems for questions I intended to pursue. I would ask the instructor for her advice on how to tell off my enemies! She would know. She would see the justice of how I was done wrong!

The class began after thirty-five younger students found a seat for the twelve-week investigation into the unknown reasons why we mess up our relationships. My list was the smallest, I determined. Peeking over into my neighbor’s notebook I could see she had taken time to compose an enemies list." Wow she is an angry lady" I thought. Shame on her, I judged. "She has a lot to learn, I doubt if I want to buddy up and carpool with this woman when we go to dinner." The weeks went by quickly as we learned happiness comes through compassion. Creativity is what we are here for. Get over it! Move on, before you become the victim. All of this sank in as I digested the instructor’s wisdom. "Those around you reflect your actions," was her motto.

Fast forward to the class graduation. I realized my questions had gone unanswered. We were to listen only. To practice her methods. The last night’s class was a happy and sad evening. Most everyone would be going their separate ways since the location of the workshops was in a large city and most all of us had busy lives. Graduation was taking place. A verbal gift for each student was to be given from the teacher. I sat tall in the seat as my turn came. The large class of thirty-five students allowed the instructor only a few words of personal advice for each person. I had waited patiently for my evaluation. During the entire duration of the classes, I had only spoken briefly to my teacher. A simple "hello, how are you?" was exchanged between us, but I had done well and was ready for her praise. "Caroline," she said in a loud voice. "Yes," I responded. "You are controlling." My body jumped inside at the unexpected attack. I stared across the huge room in shock. Anger filled my body, my face red with surprise. "You know what you get if you give up control?" I heard myself mutter a muffled reply, "what?" I asked. FREEDOM, she smiled. I have never forgotten that moment in my life. It took me several days to restore my hearing so I could utilize her advice. She was brutal, her age was seventy-something. She didn’t have time to waste on me or my pride. Her job was to impart wisdom as quickly as possible. I paid for the class and she has since then been on my list of best teachers. Her name went to the top of the list, I got the point .

Teachers are teachers, not always friends. These are the ones to treasure. My relationships? I think I am doing better. My family seems to think so anyway. How are you doing? I hope you take a look at your participation in creating a better environment. Look to the far back right corner of your home for clues to this important section of your house or business floor plan. This qua or area of the structure reflects the nature of your partnerships.

1. The Shape of the House Is You

• Choosing floor plans for easy feng shui
• Interior · exterior design
• Feng shui gardens
• Landscaping with the elements
• Plants · climate · terrain

1. Setting the Feng Shui Energy – 5 Element Altars

• Clear the clutter · Remove 27 objects
• Magical energy of numbers
• Remove blockage · restore health & wealth
• Space clearing
• Create altars for any religion or occasion
• Attunements

Sunday, December 8^th, 10 a.m. – 12 noon, Caroline’s Arts & Feng Shui Shoppe - $89

1. Greeting Cards for All Occasions

• Supplies furnished · limited space

Visit Caroline’s Arts & Feng Shui Shoppe, 129 First St. Suite K, Benicia, Ca. 94510 or call 707-748-1127 for enrollment, or check moongateschool.com for schedule.

Caroline is a feng shui consultant, artist, herbalist and author. She is available for speaking engagements, consultations and workshops. Her weekly newspaper column can be read on her second website, moongateschool.com for individuals out of the Benicia area.