West Meets East©

By Caroline Patrick

Can Feng Shui Cure Relationships?

Caroline,

By luck I came across your website while doing a search for Feng Shui art. I desperately need to know if I would benefit from a consultation, or if it’s too late. I’ve implemented a few changes that I was told to make by a local Feng Shui consultant since moving into this new house almost two months ago. Being a newlywed of almost seven months, my new marriage has been spiraling downward. My husband for the last couple of months doesn’t know if he can “be married” anymore – he says it’s very difficult for him and he feels like he’s half here and half not, and he doesn’t feel comfortable in our new house of one-and-a-half months. The last place we were was where he lived for five years alone. He’s no longer laughing, funny or affectionate; he’s depressed, irritable and numb.

He’s been very depressed and questioning his commitment, doesn’t know if he can make the changes to sustain a marriage. From my first consultation I have placed a symbol of marriage, our marriage rosary, a pink/red candle and our wedding picture in our Love corner. I also put up Bagua mirrors to fill in the missing love corner and have a large peace lily (with red pot) and a pink crystal hanging from the ceiling. This happened after we moved into the house.

My husband, a journalist, was also recently demoted after two years from sports reporter to general assignment reporter ... he’s very depressed about this. It seems like no matter what happens, he can’t impress his editor with any of his work. He wants to quit, but we’re SUPER tight on money, and when I moved up here I had to take a several thousand dollar pay cut just to work at a temporary agency. I put a plant in the Fame area and a red candle. He put a picture of Zoot Suit guy in the fame area ... it is a strong image of a Mexican-American male and has red/blue/black colors in it.

We instituted several changes since the consultation with the local Feng Shui consultant, but this was before things got so bad. I put the Bagua mirrors up to compensate for my lost love corner, bought several plants in red pots (a fichus tree in the Fame area, peace lily in bedroom (Wisdom area) and living room (Love area). We’ve put up wind chimes, are having the front pathway corrected and have painted the dining room red (Fame), entry way green with black hall table (Career) and bedroom mauve. The color does seem to help, however.

He also just recently (last week) found out his health is really declining. They found an ulcer on his pancreas, he has high cholesterol, and he’s been coughing up phlegm for about a month.

Needless to say, things are really hard right now. I really feel like my husband is depressed and thinking it must be the marriage … he has never been this depressed ever before! I’ve known him for ten years. What I really need to know it this: Is this something that could be helped by Feng Shui or am I being unrealistic and have to face the fact that my short marriage is already ending? We’re going to counseling, but he’s just got this inner negativity about us/his job that doesn’t ever really go away.

Please be honest and tell me what you think. I really want to save my marriage if it’s possible, but I don’t want to be unrealistic. Thank you, A Reader Dear Reader,

Hello, it sounds as if you have several issues going on at the same time. I need some answers before I try to help you. How long have you been in this relationship? What is your husband’s biggest complaint? Who is spending too much money? What are your birthdays? What is the shape of your floor plan? What is going on outside in the yard in the front and backyard? Are there major power poles for the neighborhood in the front or back yards? Are you in a T-zone? Have there been previous marriages and children?

What colors are in the center on the home and what rooms? What type of art is in the center of the house? What is your husband's diet? Is it two-story, split-level, or any staircases and where? Do you smoke? Do you have animals and if you do, does your spouse like animals? Where do they sleep? Who owned the home before and what is the home’s predecessor Chi? What happened to the last occupants?

What does the front yard look like and are there any missing pieces in the front of the house? Remember to include the garage in the floor plan. Do you enter the dwelling through the garage? What types and colors of plants are outside and what color of pots are they planted in?

Since the living room is part of the relationship corner, what type of furniture, pictures and decor is in this area? Where is the TV? What type of Bagua mirrors are in the marriage corner and how are they hung? These are very powerful and need to be placed properly. What is under the bed? What type of bed do you have? Is it in line with the bathroom? How many mirrors are in the bedroom and where are they placed?

Seeing the home helps the consultant. I practice Black Hat Feng Shui which concludes the architectural front door is the mouth of the Chi, and all other Quas line up accordingly. What type of consultant did your work? What school of thought? Did you or your husband choose the home? Answering some of these questions will help determine your patterns of energy. You could be picking up a lot of the last owner’s energy.

Caroline Dear Caroline,

Thank you for your response. Here are my answers, and I've sent a JPEG attachment of my house. Thank you so much for your help.

How long have you been in this relationship?

I’ve been in relationship with my husband for ten years (since college).

What is your husband’s biggest complaint? That it is easier to do things alone and he has his own way of doing things. That he has no more freedom, and has to change who he is. He’s also an extremely independent person, with very few friends.

Who is spending too much money?

Probably me. I still spend like I make the same amount of money I made before the move. However, my husband is extremely, extremely frugal with his money. He has a large amount saved, but I’ve had to buy most of our home furnishings, etc. because he doesn’t think things are worth spending money on. He gets mad if I even buy plants, or if I don’t buy generic food.

What is the shape of your floor plan? It’s rectangular. It has a deck that makes it slightly L-shaped, however.

What is going on outside in the yard in the front and backyard? Front yard...nothing much. It’s a standard lawn that slopes down from the sidewalk to the front door. Our house is a split level, and we rent the top, and a schoolteacher rents the bottom.

Are there major power poles for the neighborhood in the front or back yards?

No.

Are you in a T-zone? No, we are one house over from the corner house, and across the street from houses.

Have there been previous marriages and children? No.

What colors are in the center on the home and what rooms? One foyer wall is green; the rest is the same general color of the house (taupe-ish).

What type of art is in the center of the house? There is a Mexican art piece I bought called “Troya,” it has colorful outlines of humans and horses in primary colors. There are also two Aztec straw art pieces in the foyer. Across from Troya we have two Mexican Aztec calendars.

What is your husband’s diet? He eats a lot of chicken, rice, pasta, salad, broccoli, some Mexican food. He is lactose-intolerant, doesn’t eat pork and rarely eats beef. He’s been eating like this for years. He also works out fairly consistently ... not as much as he used to, but he still goes 1-3 times a week.

Is it two story, split level, or any staircases and where?

Split level, with the bottom rented out. We share some storage and washer/dryer downstairs. The staircase is just inside the kitchen door off the dining room.

Do you smoke?

No ... I used to socially years ago, but definitely don’t at all.

Do you have animals and if you do, does your spouse like animals?

We just brought my little dog to live with us one and half weeks ago ... she’s a four-pound Yorkshire terrier. My husband does like dogs, but he was standoffish with her at first. Now he sings and plays with her.

Where do they sleep? She sleeps right outside our bedroom door.

Who owned the home before and what is the home’s predecessor Chi ?

The owners are brother/sister who grew up in the house. When their mother passed, they rented it out. I don’t know if she passed in the house or not.

What happened to the last occupants?

I don’t know, I think they might have bought a house.

What does the front yard look like and are there any missing pieces in the front of the house? The front yard is all grass, which can get very wet. There are tall bushy hedges that obstruct a good street view, and crooked stone steps coming down into the lawn. The backyard is just one big expansive fenced rectangle with two or three prune & apple trees.

Do you enter the dwelling through the garage?

Never.

What types and colors of plants are outside and what color of pots are they planted in?

1 fichus tree (getting another one this weekend), no pot yet. 2 peace lilies (one very large, one very small), big one in big red pot, other no pot yet ... big one in love corner, small one in bedroom 2 small ivy(?) in tin bucket (dining room) 1 small table top rubber tree plant in white/ivory pot (dining room) 1 medium/tall rubber tree by fireplace in red pot 2 medium plants, unknown type, both in red pots. One is also by fireplace, but it’s not thriving. The other is beautifully thriving in the kitchen near the sliding glass door.

Since the living room is part of the relationship corner, what type of furniture, pictures and decor are in this area? Our wedding rosary, a little statuette of bride/groom, red ribbon around lamp, medium pink love candle, one heart candle with two wicks, pair of red candles, white silk flowers, Spanish tile of dancing couple, and a two-sided frame with a wedding photo and honeymoon photo.

Where is the TV? In corner next to fireplace and loveseat, in extra room, and in bedroom.

What type of Bagua mirrors are in the marriage corner and how are they hung?

Probably two-inch plain eight-sided mirrors taped to the bottom corner of wall facing out to backyard, then on deck facing right side of house.

What is under the bed? My husband keeps a bat, he has a couple papers under his side, and I just put a rose quartz under the bed today.

What type of bed do you have? Is it in line with the bathroom?

Queen bed, no headboard. No, it is not in line with bathroom or door.

How many mirrors are in the bedroom and where are they placed? One mirror on the side wall of the bed ... see picture.

What type of consultant did your work? What school of thought?

She said she's from the Black Hat School.

Did you or your husband choose the home?

I chose several others first, which he resisted. I saw this one on a whim and he liked it because it was significantly less expensive than others and in a good, safe neighborhood.

A Reader

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Caroline lives in the Northwest Region of the US, called The Puget Sound in Washington State. She is a Feng Shui Practitioner, writer, author and artist. She gives workshops in Feng Shui, Elements of Art, private mentoring for serious students, lectures and writes for newspapers. She combines teaching and traveling to other locations, here and abroad. Her 2007 schedule includes workshop and classes in the Northwest, Southwest, Midwest and Alaska. She is available speaking, teaching and consultations.

Please consult your physician for physical problems as this article only gives ideas and suggestions. Caroline is not responsible for anyone using these suggested plants or advice for cures or healing any problem either medical or Feng Shui claims. This column and article is for entertainment only. Please seek help from a qualified physician, naturopath, herbalist or other certified person for treatment.

Caroline Patrick Caroline's Feng Shui Concepts Mt. Vernon, WA 360-424-1501

caroline@fengshuiartistry.com

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